1.
"Millie, what's that banging noise? Put your grandpa on the phone
2.
this is the last straw! You lied about being sick! You lied about Grandpa being sick!"
3.
As it happens, it is a Granny & Grandpa afternoon and, as Fred is a keen G&G attendee and frequently spends the afternoon crawling round the floor with the children, it makes sense to include the kids in the festivities
4.
Poor sod! Although they moved into the village some three years ago, his wife has been working in Bristol so doesn’t know many people and the other week he was worrying at me that she was lonely, so I suggested that he tell her about the Granny & Grandpa Club
5.
Fred accompanies me to the hall, and starts setting out the chairs for the Granny and Grandpa session which is scheduled for this afternoon, the first meeting of the New Year
6.
My Dad was a twin and so was Grandpa
7.
Gran did – Gran talked a lot about how she had married Grandpa just before he went off to train for the army during the war, Uncle Alf had been conceived virtually immediately, I gather, and Mum was the result of leave Grandpa had just before he went off to fight in Italy
8.
hears from his dad or grandpa
9.
to fish on this very bank with my father and my father from my grandpa and so on
10.
Grandpa said that
11.
"Grandpa won't let us
12.
"I hated that skirt, but Grandpa always said a girl should wear skirts, so that weekend I did
13.
Grandpa rose up and extended his arms in greeting
14.
"You've only just had tea" admonished Beauty, "Sky will help Grandpa distribute it to those who need it most
15.
"Its called charity, the villagers tell Grandpa where it should be taken
16.
" Flitter was still no nearer and raised his eyes in query again until Grandpa clapped his hands for attention
17.
Only Grandpa, Granny and Seaboy, wedged between his parents, were there
18.
"Well Flitter," Grandpa stood up and clapped his hands, "What did you see at the top meadow then?"
19.
"The same sort of thing Grandpa but Flitters wrong as Seaboy was with us lying in the dark pool producing all those fantastic sea images
20.
it was due this week, you see the other children have already been given theirs, so Grandpa rather used you both to do the test if you understand my meaning
21.
Grandpa and Seaboy followed behind, canvas had a special relationship with Grandpa Wellbeloved as it would do precisely what he asked
22.
that's fine, now right over left and top over bottom and a doubling over to your left and a final fold in the middle, tuck that guy rope in neatly, and Grandpa would march down the lines repeating his instructions as the villagers stared in astonishment
23.
Every Satday after Midsum fair Grandpa would do his stuff and they never got tired of watching the flapping and flailing of regimented canvas wrapping up
24.
and that stage needs to be taken down and on the wagon for storage," called Grandpa There was a jerk at his arm and Mary Dwindles head appeared before him with such a sad expression
25.
Grandpa wiped his hands on his breeches and bade everyone a 'thankyoukindly' then called Lemoss to follow him up to the cottage
26.
When the whole family had seated themselves around the table and Granny had poured out mugs of raspberry vinegar, Grandpa clapped his hands for silence
27.
"Moth eaten means worn out for those who don't know" Grandpa glared at Flitter, "Anyhow the bank has foreclosed as Todd had difficulty in meeting the new contract
28.
"You've never had need of money Grandpa so you might just alter that statement of yours," Granny wagged her finger in Grandpa's direction
29.
"Grandpa gave strict instructions he was to be left here with us, hang on Flitter there's the clerks counter he can hide under, they'd be none the wiser
30.
"So it is Flitter, Grandpa obviously had a good affect on him, seems to have turned over a new leaf or two
31.
Later, by Granny 's own account, both Grandpa and Sky went to see Mr
32.
"Can't stop them when they've made their minds up you know Grandpa, and its not a bit of good you and Sky shaking your heads
33.
Grandpa had told Granny that Mr
34.
Grandpa arrived shortly after with a groaning Mr
35.
" Grandpa stared straight up to the ridge, "I would hazard a guess and say that the tarmac will have to reach the edge first
36.
" Grandpa poured a glass of beer for Fizzicist, then he bent down and picked up the bung from the barrel, throwing it high into the air and catching it with one quick lunge of his hand
37.
Dingle explained to Grandpa, as a 'monument to human stupidity'
38.
But it wasn’t Grandpa who stormed in that afternoon, it was Sky with bedraggled tail feathers that had glided in to Granny's garden
39.
Dingle had been called away by Grandpa to survey some goings on in Frica but on his return some weeks later came face to face with one of the silver tubes, at the time it was streaking some thousands of meters above the plateau
40.
” Said Dingle to Grandpa
41.
Grandpa Wellbelove had erected the marquee with Sky's help and many there felt that at last this might be the end of Knockwit's devious wins, or run of luck, depending on whom you supported
42.
” Grandpa interrupted as he strode into the kitchen
43.
The Mayor, in a quandary, decided to visit Grandpa and explain his predicament, Grandpa listened carefully and read over the letter twice, he gave a deep sigh
44.
" Grandpa angrily flicked the letter with his finger
45.
They found one but it was unfortunately being blocked by Grandpa
46.
He rounded on Grandpa and shot out a fist, which curiously curled back into his own face
47.
"Grandpa Wellbeloved is for banging their heads together
48.
‘Thank you for the tea Grandpa
49.
“Put him in the stocks Grandpa, that’s where the fool belongs
50.
Dingle, she should be here with us, Grandpa promised
51.
“Thank goodness” said Grandpa
52.
“Do we have to crawl though that fearsome wood again Grandpa
53.
She turned around to face Grandpa but he had gone
54.
Darshi continued, “It's grandpa Alfie's contention, and he says it was his great, great-grandfather's before him, that all the technological advances invented by any people are really just reflections of what the realized individual is actually capable of performing
55.
She brought them to the porch, and Grandpa joined in
56.
But, Grandpa was not afraid
57.
Matter of fact, secretly, I think Grandpa was showing off — putting his bare hand in harm’s way only when watching eyes were around him, and then, in the private moments of gathering the eggs by himself, I’m sure that he would sneak his large heavy-duty, Kevlar strength glove onto his aching hand, and roust those hens from their nest — the easier, less-painful way
58.
The truth is, Grandpa took me with him several times to show me how to do it right
59.
Of course, the beating on the box worked better than the screaming, but either one was equally as entertaining for Grandpa to watch
60.
What I’m saying is, it was a frightening team effort; with Grandpa as our captain, and Grandma as our manager (from the deck), we would all learn what it was like to face down those hens in order to enjoy Grandpa’s famous scrambled eggs with mushrooms and onions, alongside Grandma’s homemade doughnuts and Maxwell House coffee (what can I say, we were spoiled)
61.
Grandpa moseys on down to the coop, shovel in hand
62.
I had to have Grandpa there by my side, because, quite frankly, there was no way that I was sticking my tiny little hand inside of the box with that crazy hen, or snake, or mouse, or whatever other creature that would, also, call that straw-filled box home
63.
For a while, I wasn’t much help to Grandpa, other than taking the eggs from his hand, putting them in the bucket, and then drying them off after he washed them
64.
I was petrified of what was laying in the box, after the first time that I saw Grandpa pull out a snake and toss it outside (look — I wasn’t a dumb kid… if some lunatic chicken and secret snake called that nesting box home, then I just couldn’t find a logical or rational reason for me to put my fragile little fingers inside of it
65.
“You sure, Grandpa?” I question him, hoping that he changes his mind
66.
Grandpa reached inside of the empty box, pulled out the eggs and put them in the bucket that I was holding
67.
In slow motion, I looked over to Grandpa who I had hoped would be laying down suppressive fire with his encouraging words
68.
I would hip-hop happily into the garage with Grandpa to get the dog food
69.
For just these few moments, I was in pure country bliss — the smell of the spring lilies sweeping through the air, the sun dancing through the early leaves and flowers of the blooming trees, the sounds of the morning robins looking for those worms, the excitement of our four legged fur-babies as I snuck them extra dog treats while Grandpa had his back turned (I was their favorite) — this was true joy for any young child born to be wild
70.
The way back to the garage was something similar; Grandpa protecting me from this demon rooster, as Devil shrieked his un-pleasantries, trying to pierce our fragile eardrums (I assume that this is why Grandpa has to wear hearing aids now)
71.
Once we got back to safety, Grandpa would go ahead and start washing the eggs, while I would go inside to change my underwear
72.
There was no hope for me, stumbling around the house, blacked-out drunk off of Mountain Dew, destroying my toys in anger, and cursing the day that Grandpa brought home that batch of hens and white rooster from Trader Days
73.
Things like, feeding the hens left over dinner scraps, gathering and washing the eggs, and coddling the Easter chicks that Grandpa would buy each year
74.
It was a tradition in the Patchen household for Grandpa to go down to the Farm and Fleet and buy baby chicks just a few days before Easter each year
75.
Grandpa would line the bottom of the cage with old newspapers for them to soil and bed on
76.
” Meanwhile, Grandpa would be rinsing out the water dish in the sink beside us
77.
I would start at the tail and work my way down, pulling loose the feathers and throwing them down onto the unfolded newspapers that Grandpa had set on the garage floor
78.
But the thing of it is, this was probably one of the baby chickens that I held only a few years ago at Easter, while Grandpa fed and watered the rest of the chirping baby chicks
79.
It was because of Grandpa, who chose to raise a food source that we could not only enjoy in life, but also in death
80.
You see, Grandpa didn’t just have the chickens because he wanted chickens
81.
Grandpa used his chickens as a tool, a mechanism, to raise his daughters and his grandchildren
82.
This is what I’ve learned, with Grandpa by my side, showing me how to nurture and provide for his chickens
83.
Grandma and Grandpa had sent pictures of the raspberry patch behind their house, where I would often find myself mid-summer, picking and eating as many ripe berries as I could
84.
Grandma and Grandpa, both individually and as a tag-team, have argued tirelessly that they will not let me come over to help them plant trees, clean out the gutters, put sealer on the driveway, climb ladders, clean their chimney, dig ditches, split firewood, or do any other type of labor for them, if I do not accept their money
85.
She won’t hesitate to jokingly (and sometimes not jokingly) blame Grandpa for hiding her jacket, her purse, or for eating the sweet snacks that she had just eaten an hour before (sometimes, though, I think she just wants to get away with eating two snacks
86.
Grandpa will finish it, and five minutes later he’ll cane himself past his watching dogs, and into the house to grab another one
87.
Because Grandma and Grandpa will leave behind more than just their kin, their possessions, and that gravestone called Grandpa’s chicken coop… they will leave behind the glue that will hold this family together — the values and the lessons that we all grew up learning — that love is superior, that family is mighty, and that without a doubt, we were put here, not for ourselves, but for each other
88.
Grandma and grandpa and great aunt Minnie
89.
early days of grandpa Wil, to her father, Chester, and on to
90.
You were confusing three and five and when you finally got it right you stood on the seat of the chair and counted all the way to twenty without a mistake, just for grandpa
91.
To me, you will always be that little boy with wonder in his eyes who scampered through these 111rooms giggling, light as fluff in the wind, filled with joy and who thought his grandpa was the smartest guy on Earth
92.
The question remains – does this mean grandpa finally achieved that hole-in-one?
93.
“Could you give your grandpa a hand? We have to open the shop soon,” she
94.
“There should be a book somewhere around here,” she brushed her fingers over the titles, much like how Grandpa had when I was a child
95.
Grandpa and Grandma separated while Sis was in high school
96.
After Grandpa died, Grandma used the money from his will to move to Europe
97.
Personally I thought the money from Grandpa could have been used for better purposes, mainly me
98.
I'd never considered the possibility that Grandpa could have been a bad guy
99.
And what did Akito and Sis mean by the next Daisuke Matsumoto? What was up with that? I always thought Grandpa had loved me for who I was, but maybe he could only see his dead son staring back
100.
If Grandpa gave me the same name in the hope that I would be like his son, he must have been sadly disappointed by now
